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They knew what they were about, those old wives, brewing up their homespun mottoes. At least they did most of the time. The rest of their finger-wagging is probably horse shit. But when your husband comes home and tells you he's just found out his only brother's dying in middle age, and sits there red-eyed, forearms loose on the kitchen table, all those bedraggled wiseacre chickens come home to roost. "Blood is thicker than water"; "home is where the heart is" and, of course, "A good fuck is the best response to bad news." ....Is that a new one on you? Oh, it's very popular round our way. When you're young and cynical it seems cool and free-spirited to reject marriage and family ties. Once on the better side of 40 (believe me, this *is* the better side - it's far worse contemplating it from 39) the authenticity of the song becomes apparent: "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose." Ain't that the truth. You don't get to choose your family of birth, but you can build your very own when you grow up -- your own ideas, your own rules. Now it so happens we were both born into good ones, but that hasn't stopped either of us trying to make ours even better. Find the soul who's a good fit for yours and all things are possible. "The worst thing about dying," says James' brother, "is dying alone." His wife left him three years ago. They had no kids. He wasn't a bad husband: no drink, no drugs, no violence, no other women. He was a cold husband. He kept himself to himself, including every tender feeling. I suppose she just got lonely. James says *he'd* have been like that if we hadn't met. He says he learned about feelings from me. I think he rates me too highly. He just needed a little encouragement. My husband is as warm as a hottie bottle in bed on a cold night. Kind to the bone, this man of mine. My love, my friend, my ally.  Interested?

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